Romeo, Romeo, where fore art thou Romeo

 Romeo, Romeo, where fore art thou Romeo?

Dear Readers,

Let me take you on a journey. Join me for an online romance. It’s a roller coaster ride like

none you have ever seen. So, hold onto your hats and your hearts and take a ride with me and

my Romeo.

It all began on a rainy spring day. As I sat by the fire (fake though it may be) reading I decided I

was ready to put my self out there. There being the world of dating. At my age of sixty six

finding a partner wouldn’t be easy. I am passed the age of hanging out in a bar or nightclub.

I mean I go to bed at nine o’clock. Where in the hell am I supposed to meet someone? Not

only am I at a mature age,I haven’t dated anyone for 35 years! I am not even sure things down

there work any more. Shut like a clam shell. Grab that shucking knife boys.

My friend and neighbor has been bugging me to try online dating. I thought oh no way. There

is nobody on those sites but guys phising for money and honey I don’t have any money.

But, wait that couple I nannied for met on a dating app and the lady who sat next to me in

book club met her husband on a dating website too. Both happily married for many years.

Oh, and then there is my ex he met his new lady on a dating site too. The ink was barely dry on

our divorce papers and they were living together. Don’t I deserve to have someone to share

my life with too. You can bet I fucking do.

Cell phone in hand I pull up a dating website. Hm...they sure make it look easy. Just type in

your information, likes, dislikes, what are you looking for, long term relationship? Why yes I am

looking for a long term relationship. Someone to share the every day things with, someone to

be there for me when I need a hug or a good laugh.

After entering all my information it was time to go shopping for a new life partner. My cell

phone screen fills with photo after photo of men between the ages of 60 and 70 years old.

Yikes there are some scary looking fellas on here. Don’t they look in the mirror before they

take that selfie.

Dude, comb your hair. Okay, girl we are not looking for a perfect 10 remember you are cute

but not a 10 so keep your expectations in check.

Beep, up pops a message John gave you a heart. I take a look and decide I will leave John for

the next lonely lady. Beep, Bob has sent you a heart. Great let’s see this guy. Nope, he is a

conservative. I am very libral so that won’t work. Why didn’t he read my bio. Maybe Bob likes

a challenge. Pass, Bob can go, just go Bob.

I put my phone away. Don’t look at it girl, this isn’t a good idea. Clearly all the single men in

my age group and area are all serial killers. Delete, DeleteBeep, oh crap I have to look now. Curiosity killed that danm cat. Hm...this one is super cute.

He sends a message. “I love your smile.” Well, “I love your smile too.

”

Then it begins and my phone is glued to me or I am glued to it. It sleeps with me right there on

the pilllow my exes head used to rest on. It’s in my bra while I mow the grass. It’s in my pocket

while I go shopping. Volumn up high and notifications turned on. I cannot miss a message

from my new Romeo.

Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo???

I can not stop looking at his photo. I have to make sure this guy isn’t phising. I search his

photos in google (awesome) and nothing came up so I assumed that meant he looked like the

photos he posted or at least he didn’t steal them online somewhere. I also insisted he make a

video speaking to me personally which he did. I was instantly relieved to see he did indeed

look like his photos. That Italian accent he has is giving me the vapors. (look it up)

Adorable. I can see us visiting his family and friends in Italy. Sipping cappuccino’s while

staring into each others eyes.

Man I had it bad. Girl hold on this is where the ride gears up and the incline is steep.

Make sure that safety bar is latched.

Below is a bit or our conversation over the next few days. We texted and video chatted for

almost four weeks.

Day One

Me -I sent a heart emoji and said I like your smile.

Romeo -He sent a heart emoji back and said Hello Judith.

Me - Hi smiley face emoji with of course sunglasses because I am cool that way.

Romeo- Nice to meet you Judith where are you from?Me -Born and raised in the Napa but now live in Suisun City.

where I live?”

“Oh, should I have told him

Romeo - I was born and raised in Italy.

“Oh my be still my heart.

”

Romeo - I moved to California with my mum after the death of my Dad cause mum is

originally from San Francisco.

Me - Where in Italy?

Romeo - Rome “Oh god I love Rome”

Me - I have been to Rome and loved it. My grandparents are from Genoa.“ We were meant for

each other.

”

Romeo - How long have you been on this platform?

Me - Just a week.

Romeo - Do you mind swapping phone numbers? As I don’t come here often because it is on

my computer. “Hmm…that is odd.”

Me - I give him my cell number. But ask that he not call me for right now I prefer to text. “I am

so nervous I have butterflies.

”

Romeo - Why if I may ask, just curious?

Me - Nervous, I haven’t dated for 35 years and I am out of practice. “Geez girl way to show

how vulnerable your are right o

”

Romeo - Same here I haven’t dated in a decade. I do understand.

Me - Well feel free to text me if you would like to get to know me better.

Romeo - Radio silence.

Me - Did I lose you already?

Day Two

Romeo - Hello how are you doing?

Me - Doing well. What are you up to today?

Romeo - I doing volunteering today how about you? “Wow he volunteers hope it is not court

ordered.”Me - I went to a movie. What kind of volunteering did you do? “Please don’t be a convict on

parole!”

Romeo - That’s nice what is the name of the movie? I did volunteer in a nursing home near by.

Me - The movie was called the Black Bag.

Romeo- What was it about?

Me - It was about the British version of the CIA. I love that you do volunteer work. Giving back

to our communities is so important. I belong to a women’s service group called Soroptimist.

We give scholarships to help educate and empower women and girls. I will be working at the

local food bank in a few weeks.

Romeo - Did text your phone number but it didn’t work.

“Try again dude”

Me - I don’t see a text try again. Or give me your number and I will text you.

Romeo - sends his number “Here is where I should have googled that number”

Day Three

Here is where I start to freak out not because I believe he is cat phishing me but do I really

want a man in my life? I tell him I hope he finds true love.

Romeo - did I do anything wrong?

Me - No I just got scared. You have been great. I have not dated for 35 years. Scared emoji. I

just think maybe I am too old for you. My husband was five years younger and he left me and

found someone younger.

Romeo -Well, give me a chance to show you I’m not him. My mum is 12 years younger than my

dad and they have been together as long as I can recall.

“Wait didn’t he say his Dad passed.”

Me - Okay.

Romeo - So text me again please.

Me - I will as soon as my boy leaves. We are chatting about you. Laughing emoji.

Me - Please tell me you didn’t vote for the idiot in the White House!

Romeo - Hello I did make an error in one of the numbers sorry. Sad face emoji.Romeo -My fault Hands on face emoji

Me - Mystery solved. What do you do for work? “Please have a job or better yet be wealthy.

”

Romeo - Ha Ha laughing emoji Sherlock Holmes feelings I guess.

Me - Yep.Smiley face emoji

Romeo - I am a project manager.

Me - Projects? Constuction??

Romeo - Pipelines “ I can’t wait to check out y”

Me - Ah..okay in the Bay Area/

Romeo - Yeah, are you familiar with there? “Um duh.”

Me - The Bay Area? Yeah a little I mean I am only 40 minutes away. Do you have kids?

Romeo - Yeah I do and how about you? Do you speak any other languages?

Romeo - I speak Italian.

Me - I only speak English. “But honey you can teach me the language of amore.” I have three

sons.

Romeo - I used to have I son but I him when he was just very little it was the most terrible

experience of my life time. “OH GOD my heart is breaking for him!”

Romeo - After that my ex handled her grief by going out with someone else but I can’t judge

her if she finds happiness through cheating I wish her well. “Well, that is big of him.”

Romeo - I have been divorced for ten years and cause of the experience I have not been able

to get close to any woman for awhile. I haven’t been in a relationship for ten years. I choose to

embark on soul searching and fix wounds that were holding me back from being my true

identity. I have let go of the past I am ready to open my heart to the right person. Man emoji.

“Good God this guy needs me.

”

Me - Oh dear that is very sad. Marriages rarely survive the loss of a child. We should never

have to bury our children. I was married for thirty years and my husband left me two years

ago. I was devastated and broken. I am learning the sometimes we just are not meant to be

together forever. Check out my website, judithlloyd.net

Romeo - Yeah I did my homework and thank you for the help and I will check it as no

knowledge is a waste they say and your are so thoughtful and kind. Now you are ticking my

boxes.“Yeah buddy you are checking my boxes too!”

Day Four

Romeo - How are you spending your day today? “Dreaming about you!”

Me - Quiet evening reading maybe a little tv. How about you?

Romeo - What kind of program are you into?

Me - Depends on my mood I like to watch true crime “Please don’t be a criminal.”

But tonight I will probably watch some old sitcom something that will make me laugh.

Laughing emoji. What about you?

Romeo - That sounds perfect! Sometimes you just need a good laugh to balance out the true

crime thrillers. Old sitcoms are like a warm coz blanket for the soul. Do you have a favorite

show that gets you giggling? I’m all for some classic humor -nothing beats a good punchline.

Laughing emoji

Me - Currently watching Two and a Half Men and love Seinfeld.

Romeo - great choices! Two and a Half Men always delivers those laugh- out -loud moments,

especially Charlie’s antics! And Seinfeld? Classic!

The “no soup for you” scene is legendary! I love how it captures the quirks of everyday life-

who knew waiting for a table could be so hilarious. Any favorite episodes that always crack

you up?

Me- laughing emoji Elaine’s dancing and yeah the soup Nazi! George is always hilarious.

Did you grow up in the states?

Romeo - Ha Ha Elaine’s dancing is pure gold! And George’s antics always crack me up he’s the

ultimate neurotic!

I actually grew up in Rome, so I guess I missed out on some of those American sitcoms while

indulging in Italian charm. My parents were total lovebirds, moving around Europe for my

dad’s job, but we always had the best pasta and gelato! Do you think George would have

survived a day in Rome, or would he have just complained about the lines for gelato?

Laughing emoji

Me - Oh complain for sure and scream. I loved the slower pace in Rome. J. isn’t a very Italian

name is that your real name?

Whoops that was probably a bit rude sorry. Frown face emojiMy last name is Massimo you can google to see it is Italian. “Oh you know I will be googling

your full name!”

Me - Well that’s Italiano

Romeo - No need to apologize it’s good to ask questions rather than assume. I just came

home from volunteering today. I like to take a little nap then text you later if you are still up.

{Here I give him my full name including my mothers families name to prove I am Italian too}

That was a major mistake never give your mothers maiden name! Good God girl you are being

so dumb. This is where the term “blinded by love” come from.

Me -yes you deserve a nap chat later.

Day Five

Romeo - Good morning! Ready to conquer the day? I know I am, especially after chatting with

you! Smiley face emoji. “Ah..my heart flutters”

Me - Good morning the time change had messed up my schedule. I normally get up by 7:00

but I just woke up. Sleepy emoji

What are you doing today?

Me - Sorry I missed you this morning I hope you had a fabulous day!

Romeo- Oh sorry about that..Hope you got a good nights kissing emoji rest well.

Me - I did. Up and getting ready for a Costco run. What are you doing today?

Romeo - I am volunteering today is the last day. “He is a saint!”

Me- What made you sign up to volunteer? “Please not court ordered”

Romeo - Well it’s been my thing since I was little as I love giving back to the community too.

Me - Happy face emoji. Good for you let’s chat later.

Romeo - Alright I am looking forward to it how about you? What is on for today?

Me - Yard work and Costco.

Day SixHim - How was Costco?

Me - Spent a small fortune. Now playing game with my six year old granddaughter. Also

watching a documentary about penguins. Penguin emoji

Romeo - That sounds like a wonderful day! Costco runs can definitely

Add up, but its great to hear you’re spending quality time with your granddaughter. Playing

games and learning about penguins sounds like the perfect mix of fun and education. What

games are you playing?

Me - It is a funny game where you have to hunt for things on your card. (Photo of game)

Me - Is it nap time for you? Sleepy emoji

Romeo - Nah is not just doing some emails. Are you religious?

Me - Spiritual I don’t go to church how about you?

Romeo - Same here that is what I ask to know. “Perhaps a language issue here”

Me - do you have dual citizenship? I am liberal too. Did that scare you away?

Sleep well I missed our chat tonight. Heart emoji

Romeo - No you didn’t and yeah I do have dual citizenship. I will take a quick trip to Australia

for annual convention tomorrow.”I googled conventions in Australia and yes there is one”

Me - Wow nice enjoy.

Romeo - It will take a week and hopefully we get to know each other better and over time

build something and I will like you to dance your subscription on Eharmony as I am a one

woman kind of person and I will be deleting my profile too.

Me - Yes agreed “I mean this guy is perfect why would I want anyone else”

Romeo -Thank you, what are you doing today? You working?

Me - No I am retired.

Romeo - What are you doing to keep busy?

Me - Cleaning my house and running errands. Will take a walk as the weather will be nice.

Romeo- That is nice.

Me - Have a good day.

Romeo - If you could change one core personality trait, what would it be?Me - I would be less sensitive how about you?

Romeo - For me it would be to stop trusting so easily and also my curiosity nature is way

higher. “Huh?”

Me - Yes trust is hard when you have been hurt.

Romeo - Yeah that’s very true. I see you have had your fair share of pain.

Me - Yes. Sad emoji

Him - Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

Me - I am both if that makes any sense. I can be very outgoing but also shy. Can u call me

tonight? I am not quite awake yet. I did not sleep well last night.

Romeo - Alright be we can be texting right? “Aw..he wants to keep talking to me.

”

Me - Sure I just need to go back to sleep for a bit. Sleepy emoji

Romeo - Yeah alright let me know once you are awake.

Me - OK

Day Seven

Me - Do you work in an o

Romeo - You up already?

Me - Yep up and cleaning. You at work?

Romeo - Yeah I’m at work already. Do you live alone?

Me - Yes but my youngest will be moving in with me for a few months while I have an ADU

built for him in my backyard. How about you do you live alone? “Maybe I should have said I

live with two Doberman Pincers”

Me - J.I think you deserve the best. You seem very sweet but I don’t think I am ready. I may

never be ready to have a man back in my life. I am so sorry to have taken things this far. I am

quite a bit older than you and have some health issues. Your are adorable and should have a

young lady who can keep you happy. I wish you the best. “I should have deleted him here and

been done with it all.

”

Me - Hello my son just left so it’s just me and my little dog Lucy.

Me- Sleep well.Day Eight

Me - I know you are working but can you answer me so I know we are still good. I missed

chatting with you last night. “Feeling a little too desperate here girlfriend.”

Romeo - Hello. Waving hand emoji. I am in Los Angeles in transit to my flight to Australia

Australian Flag emoji ..just though I should update you.

Me - ah…I wondered I though you may be in a flight.

Romeo - You were right. How its going for you today?

Me - Well have a safe flight. My day is better now that I have you.

Romeo - You are so sweet I will contact you on WhatsApp as soon as I get a local SIM card

Me - Ok and you can call too.

Romeo - Okay checkmark emoji

I will call on WhatsApp or here I don’t know the rates yet.

Day Nine

Me - I send him a selfie.“ Damn I look good.”

Romeo - Hello how are you? I have arrived in Australia. Good Morning from here.

Me - Good morning how is it there beautiful I bet.

Romeo - Yeah it is. Are you on WhatsApp as texting rate international are crazy.

Me - I did download it this morning but never have used it.

Romeo - Who told you to download?

Me - No one laughing emoji you said you would use it she I downloaded it.

Romeo - Smart are. You are so smart.

Me - I know I am. How long will you be in Australia?

Day TenI get a message on WhatsApp that I violated their rules and I have to wait 24 hours to get back

on so I message him on his cellphone to let him know I am banned for a day.

Romeo - OMG did violate their rule? Or something?

Me - LOL I don’t know. Good morning me so sad now. I only chatted with you. Crying emoji

Romeo - That is very strange Do you have another phone number to register?

Me - Sadly I don’t I know this is costing you so I am really bummed we won’t be able to talk

honestly I can’t wait to hear your voice.

Smiley face with sunglasses cuz you know that is how I rock.

Romeo - Well I will do my best to keep up with the bills of it as I don’t know if I can top it up or

something I will let you know though. “Huh?” How is your day going?

Me - Good I did a lot of writing met some friends for breakfast and now sitting by the fire

reading

It’s gonna start raining any minute. My lawn mower bit the dust so looks like after this rain I

will need to get a new one. What time is it there?

Feeling ghosted.

Day Eleven

Me - r u made at me?

(Three hours later) Still feeling ghosted,

Me - What is going on with us J.? Here is where he gaslights me so I will feel insecure.

The conversation moved from here to WhatsAPP and I deleted it so can not share it at this

time. But he did end up responding, “Babe, don’t get so worked up. My phone was on silent by

accident all day.” “That sound familiar”

Okay let’s move ahead. He love bombed me which I should have seen as a huge red flag but I

fell for it in a big way. We were in love how magical to fall in love in such an unconventional

way and so quickly. But I know people who do fall in love and live many happy years togetherso why not me. We are soul mates bound together by our past lives. The love just kept coming

and coming day after day for almost four weeks. Now I am pressuring him to tell me when he

is returning to the US. After all we can not wait to see each other. Oh Babe I took a 3 month

job here so we have a bit of a wait. WTF. Okay well that is shitty timing. But that is great he is

working. J even gives me his mothers phone number stating they are very close and she is so

pleased he has found someone to share his life with and would I please text her and introduce

myself to her.

From Romeo -

Aww, your words touch my heart more than you can imagine. It’s hard to put into words how

much your presence means to me. For nine long years, I chose to be alone, trying to heal

from the deepest pain of losing my son and the betrayal of someone I thought I could trust.

Those experiences left me feeling lost and unsure if I could ever love again.

But then you came into my life, and everything shifted. You’ve shown me that it’s not just

okay to want someone; it’s beautiful to need someone like you. You’ve opened a door in my

heart that I thought was forever closed, and I can’t help but feel hopeful again.

Thank you for being the light in my life. I cherish every moment with you, and I’m so grateful

that you’re here. You inspire me to dream of a future filled with love and happiness.

Sure no problem. I send her a brief text and she tells me I am the daughter she has always

dreamed of and now she can die peacefully know her son has a lifetime mate. Ah..I miss my

mom so much this will be so nice to have another motherly figure in my life.

The love bombing continues then one Sunday morning he calls. I see his name come up on my

phone and think oh yes I get to hear that sweet Italian accent.

Keep hanging on here is where we crest the hill and fly down, down, down.

“Babe, how are you? Listen I need your help. My mother you know how close I am to my

mother. I need to send her $1000 but she doesn’t have a bank account. Can you get it to her

for me babe and I will get the money to you. You can give me your account number and I will

deposit it in your account.

”

Me - Ah…Hell NO! Who doesn’t have a bank account. “J” , I say, “ you can Venmo or Zelle me

the money and I will be happy to drive it to her today.

”Him - “No no what you don’t want to help me I need my partner to be more supportive you

think I am trying to take your money do you know how much money I make in a week. I don’t

need your money. I need to help my mother and I am stuck over here and can not get the

money to her and she needs it.

”

Now he is mixing Italian with English and is clearly very angry. Then he hangs up on me.

Calls me back 6 times but I don’t answer cuz now I am blocking him from everything. He tries

texting me and has the nerve to call me a scammer.

I am broken hearted but worse I am disappointed in myself for being so gullible. I am a strong

woman with strong convictions but I fell for the love bomb scam. Romeo was not meant to be

my Romeo and I hope like Romeo he meets his demise. Ladies take warning sometimes the

things that seem so good are not always wrapped up in truth. “Too good to be true” couldn’t

be more appropriate for this scenario.

Dangers of online dating

The scammer manipulates or grooms the other person to gain their trust over time, ultimately

so they can either ask them for money or obtain enough personal information about them to

steal their identity. Read more about common romance scams here. Not all dating apps or

sites are genuine. Google

Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse. Psychology Today

Risks of online dating

While there are many potential benefits to online dating, there are some risks. Online dating

requires you to take some chances on other people and share personal information about

yourself, and this might put your safety, privacy and security at risk.

Knowing about the risks and some of the warning signs can help you recognise and avoid

problems.esafety.gov.au

They ‘love bomb’ you

This is when someone is overly complimentary, shows you a lot of attention and becomes

romantic too quickly. This can be a sign they're trying to lure you into a romance scam to steal

your money or identity. It may also be a sign of manipulative behaviour or coercive control.

When love bombing or other forms of tech-based coercive control are used to manipulate

you, it’s not usually a single act, but a pattern of behaviour to:undermine self-worth, confidence and independence

cut you o

pressure you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing

pressure you to stop doing things you enjoy doing

track where you’re going and what you’re doing using apps such as Life 360 or Instagram

‘gaslight’ you to make you feel unsure about what is real and what is imagined

isolate you so you feel trapped and unable to leave the relationship.

This form of coercive control is often di

controlling actions as examples of their care or concern for you.

How do dating sites verify identity?

Dating sites may also use third-party verification services that specialize in identity

verification. These services typically use machine learning algorithms and other advanced

technologies to check the information provided against various databases and sources to

confirm its accuracy.

Dating apps have become a very popular way to meet people. Whether you are looking to

hook up for some fun or find a serious relationship a dating website can help make it easier

and even fun. That being said they have their down sides too. Do your research. Follow the

rules laid out by the website. You want to know that the person you see in the photo is real

and genuine. Would doing a criminal background check be going to far? I think there should

be a law passed that dating websites have a link to a free background check without having to

sign up for monthly subscriptions. Let’s make it easy for us to be safe. That way the user

could simply click on the link and see what and who they are dealing with online. In this world

of AI any guy or girl for that matter can more easily scam us.You know I could overlook unpaid

parking tickets but an arrest for domestic violence would be a big red flag.

I didn’t have the opportunity to do a background check mostly because I didn’t want to

hooked into monthly payments and there are so many background websites I was too

overwhelmed.

So in the end I blocked him from all my numbers and reported him to the dating website at which time he had already been

removed, reported by someone else.

My online dating subscription lasts until 2027. Should I try again??